Awhile back I sat down and watched all the Rambo movies. Thought I would do the same for Stallone’s other franchise, the Rocky movies. I won’t do the Creed movies, as I’ve seen those more recently (and enjoyed them, you can find those reviews on my blog), but it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen this series (and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rocky Balboa).
Up first is the one that started it all and which put Stallone on the map. Written by and starring him as Rocky, it starts with him boxing for scraps at a local club. Rocky is an everyman and easily relatable. He has eyes for a pet store worker (Adrian) and is making money by being an enforcer for a local loan shark, but he is barely scraping by. His fortunes look like they may change with the chance of a lifetime. World heavyweight champion Apollo Creed is supposed to have a title bout in Rocky’s hometown of Philadelphia, but Apollo’s opponent backs out with just 5 weeks to go before the event. Playing up the whole “America is the land of opportunity,” Apollo has his team pick a new opponent at random from the local boxers, and it is Rocky’s name that is called. No one gives Rocky much of a chance, but as a local trainer puts it, Rocky always had lots of talent, but he’s wasted it to this point. Rocky takes his training seriously, and when the day comes, he’s ready to give Apollo one hell of a fight. The dialogue is honestly choppy and doesn’t come of f as genuine (it was 1976 after all), and while distracting in the beginning, by the end of the film, I was still completely hooked and ready for the big fight. ★★★★
I always try to avoid major spoilers in my blog, but obviously when you are talking sequels, that’s not possible. You’ve been warned. Rocky II picks up right at the end of the first, and in fact shows the final moments of the big fight, where Rocky holds his own against Apollo but loses in a judge’s decision. He seems content with his life afterwards though: he and Adrian get married and have a kid on the way, and they live large off the money he got from the fight. Meanwhile, Apollo is dogged by questions that he wasn’t the legitimate winner in the fight against Rocky, and he wants to squash those questions by challenging Rocky to a rematch. Rocky resists as long as he can, but he can’t help what he is: a fighter. When Adrian gives her assent, he starts training again, and the rematch is set. Much of the film follows the same pattern as the first movie, so while there’s some rehashing here, it’s not bad. The ending is a little too Hollywood. ★★★
At the beginning of Rocky III, Rocky is now the heavyweight champion of the world. Rocky has defended his title 10 times and made lots of money. Up-and-comer Clubber Lang (portrayed in awful stereotypy villain style by Mr T) has his eyes on him though. Rocky blows him off until he no longer can, and then learns a hard truth: the 10 fights he’s had in defense of his belt have been hand-picked by his trainer Mickey, so he’s never really been challenged since beating Apollo. And with the fight coming up, Rocky has gotten soft. He’s in love with his fame and his training is half-hearted, even as Clubber is shown pushing himself as hard as humanly possible. Predictably, Rocky loses, in part because he is distracted by the death of his trainer Mickey. Wanting a rematch to win back the title, Rocky gets help in his renewed training from an unlikely source: his former rival Apollo. Apollo will make sure Rocky is ready to face Clubber this time. Clubber is the franchise’s first real bad guy (Apollo was an opponent, but still painted as a good guy in previous films and again here). With a whole non-relevant scene involving Rocky fighting a wrestler (Hulk Hogan) for charity, if the series hasn’t jumped the shark yet, it’s at least headed towards the ramp. ★★½
….and the shark has been jumped. Rocky IV turns on the heavy 80s cheese (there’s a frickin’ robot!) and whittles down the plot to a single element. At the top of the mountain, Rocky has gotten the attention of everyone’s favorite 1980’s villain, the USSR. Their steroid-induced super fighter, Drago, challenges Rocky to a fight, but when he doesn’t immediately sign on, Drago fights Apollo instead, and in a gruesome fight, kills him in the ring. Rocky wants to avenge his friend, so agrees to go to Moscow and fight Drago on his home turf. Everything is 80s sludge, from the cheesy robot (a gift from Rocky to his brother-in-law Paulie), to not-one-but-several video montages of past events and current training (complete with the worst songs you can imagine), to our hero standing up against Communism, and getting cheered by Russia’s own people as he does it. Look how great America is! Only worth watching because it obviously sets up the later Creed films. ★½
If Rocky IV was derided for not having much of a plot, they tried to make up for it by throwing everything but the kitchen sink into its sequel. Like seemingly all of these movies, Rocky V picks up right where IV ended: Rocky has beaten Drago, but after the fight, his hands are shaking so bad that it worries him and Adrian. Returning home to the USA, they are greeted by a new boxing promoter George Washington Duke, who wants to make some money and get Rocky back in the ring. Of course, it is now obligatory that Rocky is dead set on retirement in every movie, so that’s the line they toe. Unfortunately Rocky is broke — a bad business decision by Paulie while Rocky was in Russia squandered all their millions, and they are back to living in the slums in Philly. Rocky starts training a bullish young fighter named Tommy Gunn, while also trying to build a better relationship with his son Rocky Jr (who is also dealing with bullies at his new school). After Tommy starts having success in the ring, he is lured away by Duke for promises of riches, leading to a confrontation between Tommy and Rocky right on the streets. Rocky’s return to the streets where he started is such an obvious ploy to make him an underdog again (hard to keep up the underdog act when he’s a millionaire fighter who never loses a fight), and there’s just so much going on that nothing ever is allowed to breathe or develop. All of the characters are paper thin, and when there is a moment that could go somewhere (Rocky trying to talk sense into Tommy) it doesn’t go anywhere. ★
Many thought Rocky V (released in 1990) would be the last, especially after how awful it was. But Rocky had one more fight in him, and Rocky Balboa came out 16 years later in 2006. This is probably the movie that Rocky V should have been. In his 50s, Rocky seems content in his life. He runs an Italian restaurant named after his wife Adrian, who died from cancer a couple years ago. He’s still estranged from his son Rocky Jr; as an adult, Jr seems to have to be in a rut and blames everyone else. But the crux of the film is current heavyweight champ Mason Dixon. He’s undefeated, but a lack of quality fighters has him beating scrubs, and boxing fans know it, booing him at his matches. An ESPN computer simulation throws fuel on the fire, showing that if Mason were to fight a “true” champion (Rocky in this example, of course), he wouldn’t stand a chance. Rocky hears this, and since he’s already been feeling that he still has something down in the gut to get out (“in his basement” as he says), he agrees to a big-ticket exhibition match against Mason. No one expects Rocky to win — Rocky doesn’t expect himself to win — but he does want to prove that even in his 50’s, he has heart and courage, an example to his son, and an example to Mason of what makes a true champion. It’s a solid final entry in the first Rocky series, before the Creed spinoff started in 2015, and my second favorite Rocky film behind the original. ★★★½
- TV series currently watching: Ms Marvel (miniseries)
- Book currently reading: Dragons of Spring Dawning by Weis & Hickman
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