Army of the Dead is characterized as a “zombie heist” film, and if that isn’t a mashup of genres, I don’t know what is. Unfortunately, it isn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds. A deadly zombie virus is let out of a government facility and it spreads through nearby Las Vegas like wildfire. Thankfully for the rest of society, the military is able to build a wall around the city, encasing it and saving the rest of mankind. However, there’s still a lot of cash buried in those casino vaults, and a casino owner hires a team to get him back his millions, in return for a hefty payday. What they find is more than they bargained for: while there are a fair share of mindless, slow shuffling zombies of the Walking Dead variety, there are also some highly intelligent, quick moving and quick thinking “leaders” of the zombie hoard, who are not as easy to kill or avoid. This film just gets sillier as it progresses, well past the point of enjoyment. Written and directed by Zack Snyder, the violence and gore is reminiscent of his earlier pics, a la 300 and Dawn of the Dead, but lacks the constant excitement of those pictures. Just too goofy to be good, even if you love the genre. ★½
Stowaway follows a trio of Mars-bound astronauts and scientists, on a 2 year mission to perform experiments there in prep to send humans to the planet. Just a day into the trip though, a problem without an easy solution comes down: the eponymous stowaway. An engineer working on the module before it left Earth, he got himself stuck behind a panel and inadvertently made himself a member of the crew. Unfortunately his presence threatens the lives of the others: a device that circulates and cleans the air they breathe has been damaged, and with an extra unaccounted person in tow, there won’t be enough oxygen for the team to make it to Mars. The quartet needs to do some quick thinking in order to save them all and continue the mission. Just a four-person cast, with 3 heavy hitters (Tony Collette, Daniel Dae Kim, and Anna Kendrick) with one relatively unknown (stowaway Shamier Anderson), but a strong cast can’t save this mostly boring film. A good space flick should be either thought provoking or a thriller (or hopefully both!), but this one is neither. Some tense moments for sure, but it is way too predictable to be a very good film. ★★½
Idris Elba is one of those really talented actors who too often makes questionable decisions in regards to projects. Concrete Cowboy is the latest. Cole (Stranger Things’ Caleb McLaughlin) has just been kicked out of his latest school, and his frustrated mom has taken him from Detroit back to his father in Philadelphia. His father Harp (Elba) is involved in the storied horse riding culture of Philly, of which I was completely unaware. Cole runs into Smush, a friend from 10 years ago before his mother took him away, and Smush is now involved in drugs and other shady deals. Harp warns Cole to stay away from such behavior, and encourages him to get involved in the stables, taking care of the horses. It’s a coming-of-age film with a twist, and shines a light on an important cultural group that many probably have never heard of. In a Nomadland-like way, many of the actors in the film are true urban cowboys and horse riders living in the Philadelphia tradition. It’s a fascinating group of people, but the movie is rather ho-hum. Nothing stands out, and the dialogue for me rang false, sort of like hearing kids use curse words because they heard other people say them, but don’t know how to use them properly; Smush and Cole cuss like they are reading lines off a book. Pretty forgettable film. ★★
I hunted down Pixie, despite its middling reviews, due to its star, Olivia Cooke. I’ve loved just about everything she’s been in in her young career, but even the so-so reviews of this film were generous. Honestly, I thought this movie was pretty terrible. The set up is a couple of young men rob a quartet of priests, priests who are a front for a drug smuggling operation. The robbery goes bad when the priests end up dead, and then while driving home, one of the robbers finds out his partner has been dating his ex-girlfriend, and shoots and kills him. He then heads over to said girl to confront her, and is himself struck and killed. The girl and her two new rescuers decide to make some money on the newfound drugs, but the rest of the priests, and other underworld kingpins, are on their tail. It’s all supposed to be funny in a quirky kind of way, but I never laughed once. After the latest stupid misstep in the film (the trio frolicking on the beach despite the really bad guys with guns being too close for comfort), I finally gave up on this movie with less than 30 minutes to go. I just didn’t care enough to see how it ended. ½
Chaos Walking also got average reviews, but this one was more my style. It takes place a couple hundred years in the future on a new planet that has been colonized by Earth. The “first wave” arrived a generation ago, and the planned second wave never came, so the settlers have been on their own. There’s something unique about this world though: the private thoughts of men (women are unaffected) are broadcast for everyone nearby to hear, as clear as if spoken aloud. Called your “noise,” it is doesn’t allow for any secrets, unless you are strong-willed enough to control your thoughts. But let’s face it, if you try to tell yourself not to think about something, that’s the first thing you do. In the little village of Prentisstown, all of the women are gone, supposedly killed by the native people to the planet over 10 years ago. Into this setting we follow Todd (Tom Holland). The youngest in the village and most likely its last survivor since, without women, no more will be born, he always has a hard time controlling his noise. The village’s quiet life is thrown into upheaval when an exploratory ship from the long-promised second wave crashes on the planet. There is only one survivor: a woman named Violet (Daisy Ridley). The mayor of the town, Prentiss (Mads Mikkelsen), fears her, because he can’t hear her thoughts, and wants her silenced. Todd vows to protect her, and when Todd’s father tells him that Prentisstown is not the only village on the planet, the duo set out for a new place, and hopefully to find a way for Violet to contact her mother ship for help. Yes, the movie has more than a few potholes. Part of that is due to its huge setting; there’s so much information here that it is impossible to explore it all in 2 hours, but the action of the film is engaging and the acting by the top trio of characters is on point. It’s also unexpectedly funny in all of the right moments. I wouldn’t mind a sequel (or even a prequel) to see more of this unique and awesome planet. ★★★½
- TV series currently watching: Defending Jacob (series)
- Book currently reading: Song of Susannah by Stephen King
Jons Movie Takes 