A mothers manipulations in Sons and Lovers

My second reading of D.H. Lawrence turned out much better than the first (was unable to finish Women in Love last May). Sons and Lovers is a much more personal-feeling novel, and I learned after reading that it is semi-autobiographical as well.

The book focuses on Paul Morel, his relationships with his family and the women in his life. His mother is sort of a piece of work. The book begins with her falling in love with Mr Morel, but growing to hate him for being coarse and barbaric and thinking she is better than him. The reader feels her pain of solitude. She latches on to her children and particularly Paul, her second son. Paul grows up being taught to rise about his simple surroundings, that he is destined for more important things. Mrs Morel’s doting on Paul really leads to a unhealthy relationship between the two, and also to Paul never being satisfied with other women.

Paul has two loves during the course of the book, first Miriam who is much like him but who his mother dispises, and secondly Clara, who is a married (though separated) woman who is quite different. Miriam is a natural fit to Paul as they share many interests, but Paul finds flaws in her, which honestly are more like flaws in himself that he projects on her. To Clara Paul falls head over heels, but because she is married, he can never have her. In both cases, he continues to choose his mother over all, and is heavily influenced by her in his mindset.

Whereas the book started with us feeling sorry for Mrs Morel in the life she was dealt, at some point we start to see her as the master manipulator. Her husband becomes a bit of a tragic figure, and we wish that she could just leave her mitts off of Paul to let him live his life. Even after she becomes ill and dies in the end, Paul is still comparing other women to his mother, though he can at least admit now the damage she has done to his psyche.

Sons and Lovers is not a page-turner, but it is a deep introspective novel in which you get tied up in Paul’s search for the perfect mate, and since he can’t marry his mother, he never finds her. Since the book is autobiographical, you have to feel a little sorry for the author as well.